I Approve

Butter - My Dark Master.

Seinfeld - The best sitcom ever made.

Synthesizers - I love knobs, beeps, and squelches. Basically these are video games for adults.

Cooking - I enjoy the ceremony very much.

Yellow - Butter is yellow.

Za'atar - Good on preeety much anything.  I use this all the time sprinkled on classic literature.

Coffee - Liquid gold. Slate roasts the best darn coffee around. If it weren't for coffee I wouldn't have cause to be cheery on occasion.

Millie & Alex - Have you ever just watched a pet sleep? Best thing in the world.

Films - The perfect melting pot of all art forms.


Things I'm Decent At

Music - My measure of success is the work itself, not the results bc, let's be honest, it's near impossible to make a living in the music business today.

Losing Things - Try me. I'm a little like Houdini, except not super dead.

Eating - I hope my metabolism doesn't crap out on me one day because I don't think I could actually change to accommodate it.

Tossing the Sheets - Come over any morning and I will show you how great I removed the fitted sheet from the mattress!

Laundry - It's true. I know the water temp settings and how to put the quarters in. I know all about soaps and laundry "boosters."


Airing of Grievances

You drive slow - I know you're just chillin, and I like doin that too, but not on the highway. You're in between me and my pulled pork. Die.

You Imprison People in Your Basement - You are just too perverse and repulsive to exist. My mind can't even understand. Do us all a favor.

PCs - Big and dumb. Inferior to Macs in every way.

Errands - All of the pointless minutiae that wastes precious moments of my life. Order this stuff online and move on.

Poop- Yeah I know this is popular to like but too much of a good thing is real.

Nail Clippers - I want to like you, but you just don't hang out with me as often as you ought to.

Cleaning - Look, this CAN be cool but the amount necessary to maintain "hotel clean" is crushingly overwhelming.

You Don't Listen - I'm heading for the buffet table.

Shopping - I'd rather be slurping oysters and bubbly in my Eames Lounger!

Being Connected - Give me the peace of the wilderness.

RomComs - Just. Not. Good. 


Tell Me More

You're intrigued...

Available for work.
Interesting trades considered.