Butter - My Dark Master.
Seinfeld - The best sitcom ever made.
Synthesizers - I love knobs, beeps, and squelches. Basically these are video games for adults.
Cooking - I enjoy the ceremony very much.
Yellow - Butter is yellow.
Za'atar - Good on preeety much anything. I use this all the time sprinkled on classic literature.
Coffee - Liquid gold. Slate roasts the best darn coffee around. If it weren't for coffee I wouldn't have cause to be cheery on occasion.
Millie & Alex - Have you ever just watched a pet sleep? Best thing in the world.
Films - The perfect melting pot of all art forms.
Things I'm Decent At
Music - My measure of success is the work itself, not the results bc, let's be honest, it's near impossible to make a living in the music business today.
Losing Things - Try me. I'm a little like Houdini, except not super dead.
Eating - I hope my metabolism doesn't crap out on me one day because I don't think I could actually change to accommodate it.
Tossing the Sheets - Come over any morning and I will show you how great I removed the fitted sheet from the mattress!
Laundry - It's true. I know the water temp settings and how to put the quarters in. I know all about soaps and laundry "boosters."
Airing of Grievances
You drive slow - I know you're just chillin, and I like doin that too, but not on the highway. You're in between me and my pulled pork. Die.
You Imprison People in Your Basement - You are just too perverse and repulsive to exist. My mind can't even understand. Do us all a favor.
PCs - Big and dumb. Inferior to Macs in every way.
Errands - All of the pointless minutiae that wastes precious moments of my life. Order this stuff online and move on.
Poop- Yeah I know this is popular to like but too much of a good thing is real.
Nail Clippers - I want to like you, but you just don't hang out with me as often as you ought to.
Cleaning - Look, this CAN be cool but the amount necessary to maintain "hotel clean" is crushingly overwhelming.
You Don't Listen - I'm heading for the buffet table.
Shopping - I'd rather be slurping oysters and bubbly in my Eames Lounger!
Being Connected - Give me the peace of the wilderness.
RomComs - Just. Not. Good.